Win – Lose: Not a Good Strategy

Scholars and professionals have beenWar never ends studying conflict management intensely since about the mid-20th century, and they’ve generated some new thoughts based on research that can help us understand what’s going on in a conflict, elements that we may be juggling as we deal with conflict, and what specific things we can do to get better results from conflicts. Note, however, that there is no easy recipe for managing conflict.

What is “conflict”? A comprehensive phrase reads as follows: “a depicted battle involving no less than two interdependent individuals or groups who view incompatible objectives, limited resources, and interference from other individuals in attaining their goals.” A shorter definition of conflict might be that it is a “discomforting difference.” The five elements that are always present in a conflict are: (1) interdependence (meaning that the behavior of one party has an effect on the other), (2) difference, (3) opposition, (4) expression, and (5) emotion.

Why do we need to handle conflict better than we do? First, we want to avoid the harms that can come from conflict, and second, we want to reach the benefits that can come from it. To avoid the harms that stem from conflict, we have to face the “Four Awful Truths”: (1) Conflict will occur; it is inherent in human interaction; (2) conflict always involves some risks and costs; (3) the damage that occurs in conflict results not so much from the conflict itself but from the dysfunctional strategies that we use to deal with it; and (4) some of the damage that occurs in conflict is irreversible.

Of course, there is also a positive side to conflict. It brings to the surface problems that we didn’t see before, which can be especially useful in organizations. Going through conflict deepens our understanding of one another and enables us to improve our relationships.

Keep in mind that there is also a positive side to conflict. It brings to the surface problems that we didn’t see before, which can be especially useful in organizations. Success in handling conflict is through research. In fact, conflict management is a major area of research in psychology, sociology, communication, and organizational management. Some of the questions that have been explored include the following: In order for one party to win in a conflict, does the other party have to lose, or do the two parties have to compromise to keep one from losing? What are we really after when we engage in conflict? If we want to reach a good resolution, what should we focus on in negotiating?

It’s important to note that whenCivil War we try to change the way we think about or behave in a conflict, we’re not writing on a blank slate. The fact is that we started learning to manage conflict early, and those lessons do not just go away because we’ve done some research or listened to a lecture. We learn to deal with conflict from our culture, from our families, and from organizations. Probably your first lesson in managing conflict came from your family, when you were in your “terrible twos” and you decided to try out saying “no” for the first time. You’ve been learning to manage conflict ever since.

Some of what we have learned from our families, our culture, and our organizations works well, but some of our ideas about conflict and the ways we deal with it are misguided. For example, it’s not true that if you’re in a love relationship, you shouldn’t have conflict, or that the person you’re having a conflict with is your enemy; conflict most commonly occurs among couples, family members, friends, or colleagues. Some people think that “winning” a conflict requires having more power than the other party. But the only power two parties need in a conflict is a sufficient degree of interdependence to make it worth each person’s while to work things out. Finally, it’s not true that conflicts are just communication problems. Communication is almost always essential in resolving conflicts, but it’s rarely a solution in itself.

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Men at Work – The Do’s and Don’t’s

Consider Nontraditional Careers

For decades now, women have, men-at-work-signappropriately, been encouraged to consider all careers rather than just those traditionally held by women. Similarly, men should consider the full range of career options. Some traditionally female careers can be unusually rewarding: librarian, teacher, editor, nurse, and graphic designer, for example. A real man chooses a career that feels right for him without worrying that it’s not a “manly” career.


Use the Power of Deep Connection

Women, on average, are better at connecting with people than men are. They start young. Walk into any kindergarten and you’ll see most girls playing together cooperatively, while most boys are playing by themselves or in very uncooperative ways: pushing, chasing, and terrorizing. Fast forward a few years and, in most households, while boys are staring at a TV or computer game, girls are on the phone or instant messaging their friends. Fast forward to adulthood and you’ll find nine zillion women’s organizations – the ultimate networking opportunity – and barely any for men.
Guys, you gotta recognize the power of deep connection. When you talk with another man, ask about deeper things than his new car, techno-toy, or the score of the big game. I’m not saying you have to “process deep feelings,” but guys care plenty about their careers, health, looks, finances, maybe even feelings. Find out what the person you’re talking with is most concerned about, and discuss that. Then share a concern of yours. Be careful, however, not to give unwanted advice, particularly to women. The stereotype is generally true: Women mainly want to be heard rather than to have their problem solved.Because men do, in general, appreciate advice and don’t just need to be heard, when you’re talking with a guy, you may offer each other help that solves problems. That’s likely to bond you enough that you both want to help each other’s careers.

Temper “Male Energy”

Workplaces used to deify “male energy”: aggressiveness, competition, individualism. Today, in many workplaces – especially those with a number of female higher-ups – to survive, let alone thrive, men usually must temper male energy. That may or may not yield better business results, but certainly, in recent years, the pendulum has swung to give women’s ways of being more respect than men’s. The unvarnished truth is that in today’s typical workplace, men must usually accommodate to women’s ways, not vice versa.

Do you talk too much at meetings?

Rule of thumb: In a meeting, talk no more than 50 percent above your share of time. For example, if you’re in an hour-long meeting with six attendees, your share is ten minutes. Your maximum talk time: 15 minutes. And that assumes that you have more of value to say than the other attendees. Normally, you want to talk less than that.
A no-holds-barred approach to achieving a goal may win the battle but will probably lose the war. For example, one salesman wanted to become the head honcho when the boss retired. To put himself in line, he did the following:
– Hyped product strengths, downplayed product weaknesses, and pushed customers harder to “make the commitment.”
– Unfairly complained about fellow team members to the boss.
– Dominated the weekly sales meeting. Although six people were in the room, he talked half the time.
This salesman sold more machines but, not surprisingly, didn’t get the promotion. Why? Because he pushed some customers so hard that they complained to the boss, and his complaints about co-workers and his dominating meetings were seen as the ploys they were.
Drive is often key to achieving excellence, but please, don’t cross ethical lines. And even when ethical, always ask yourself whether the side effects of being aggressive might outweigh the benefits.

Be Tactful and Listen Well

Another form of excessive aggressiveness: bluntness. Many men think of bluntness as a positive: “I’m direct, a straight-shooter.” Fact is, if the bluntness decimates your listener, the price may be too great. Women, in general, are better at criticizing tactfully. You can be tactful too.
Occasionally, to shake a person’s undue complacency, you must be blunt. But do that often, and you’ll probably be viewed not as a straight-shooter but as insensitive. When you must criticize, do it in the most self-esteem-preserving way. For example, “I noticed (insert your concern) and wonder whether there’s something I’m not understanding.” When the person explains, even if it’s an imperfect explanation, try to accept it, knowing that you planted a seed — he’ll probably make the necessary change.
Poor listening is among aggressiveness’s most insidious manifestations. The aggressive person is so eager to prove his point that he listens poorly to what the other person is saying, thereby losing opportunities to find common ground, let alone to have his mind changed. Above all, learn to listen well.
Controlling unbridled aggressiveness is particularly important if your boss is a woman. Many female bosses worry about being steamrolled by male energy, so you’ll get lots of brownie points if you temper your aggressiveness with good listening and tactfully made suggestions.
If you find yourself unable to consistently follow my advice to temper your maleness to accommodate to today’s typical workplace, you may be more likely to find success in the handful of remaining fields in which male-centricity remains the norm – for example, aerospace, construction, transportation, energy, agriculture, and manufacturing.

Mind Your Health

Men die six years younger than women, and it seems that more men than women in their mid- to late- 50s show significant decline in physical and mental capability. That, I believe, partly explains why Boomer men are having a harder time finding jobs than are Boomer women.
Because men are at risk of earlier decline, it’s especially important that you take precautions to forestall aging and disease. Perhaps this is a wakeup call to get serious about controlling your weight, not smoking, drinking no more than moderately, and getting regular, moderate exercise. Science is finding that your mother may have been right: Walking may be the best exercise.

Flirt with Your Antennae Out

Flirting is fun, but, in today’s no-sexual-harassment-hereworkplace, it’s risky, especially for men. Women typically have the power in such matters: If you flirt and she perceives it as unwelcome, in most workplaces, her perception is presumed valid unless proven otherwise, which is hard to do. And if you flirt again, you’re on the road to a sexual harassment claim. Telling a woman three days this week how great she looks may be innocent to you, yet it can be perceived as “persistent unwanted advances.” At that point, no matter how trivial you say your comments were, many HR departments would initiate an inquiry.

Don’t Date Your Direct Report

If you’re the type who can keep a personal relationship from affecting your work life, the advantages of dating people you meet at work outweigh the liabilities. If company policy doesn’t prohibit it, do not date someone you supervise. Your supervisee may agree to go out with you only for fear of hurting her career if she says no. Is that the basis on which you want a date? And if things go wrong, urrggh! The supervisee often claims the boss abused the power relationship, which can cost you your job. Or what if she threatens to make that claim unless you promote her or let her get paid full-time for part-time work? Even if you dodge those bullets, having to supervise your disgruntled ex-lover won’t be fun. And just imagine if you wanted to fire her! Even when the relationship is working fine, higher-ups may make you pay. Esteemed Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher was fired simply for having a consensual affair with a Boeing employee.

Be Proud to Be a Man

In the appropriate attempt I'm the Bossto redress past and lingering discrimination against women, society’s mind-molders – schools, colleges, and media – are empowering women, but too often at men’s expense. The schools and colleges continually trumpet the contributions of women, while accentuating the evils of men. It’s easy to see why, today, women’s self-esteem, on average, is higher than men’s, and why only 1⁄3 of the college graduating class of 2007 is male.
Despite what society’s mind molders may say, all men are not killers, rapists, slackers, and dolts. In fact, in the five decades since the women’s movement began, 97 percent of science, 92 percent of literature, and 100 percent of economics Nobel Laureates still are men.
Turning to the lower rungs of the work world, almost all people who do such grungy, dangerous, life-shortening work as fumigator, prison guard, coal miner, steelworker, and sewer maintainer are men. And 99 percent of American soldiers killed in Iraq are men. And the only gender required to register for the draft is, you guessed it, men.
The fact is, most men are hard working, goal-oriented, and straight shooting. The world needs both men and women. Don’t forget it.
Of course some men (and women) are an embarrassment to their gender, indeed to the human race. And, in my view, you have an obligation, not only to yourself but also to your fellow-men and women, to use traditionally male attributes – aggressiveness, drive, and a protective instinct – to positive ends. Indeed, in and out of today’s workplace, you have ample opportunities to use your maleness for great good. Many men do. You can too.

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Don’t Play Doctor…Leave That to the Professionals!

Unintended Consequences

We are all responsible for our own healthHomeopathic Medicine and health care and for that of our children. Yes, there are healing professionals who are there to help, advise, and perform technical procedures – like surgery – that we can’t do ourselves. But, ultimately, we make our own decisions. We live in the age of information, where we can simply go on the Internet and get access to all the information that professionals have access to. Being armed with accurate information can help us make the best health decisions for ourselves and our families. But the flip side is that being confused by myths and misinformation can be dangerous – sometimes even deadly.
On the Internet and elsewhere, there are rumors, urban legends, and myths that are spread as fact. There are many ideological groups spreading misinformation to promote their particular worldview. There are also plenty of people who are trying to separate you from your money by making false or misleading marketing claims or using hype rather than real information to promote a product.
The best source of reliable information is still health-care professionals. Your physicians are there primarily to advise you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions: When you have a visit with a physician or other health-care professional, come prepared. If you are going to do some research on your own, do it before you go in, and bring your specific questions. Bring a friend or family member, because the more people that are in the room hearing the information, the more you will remember. Also, don’t be shy about seeking second opinions; it’s pretty much par for the course these days.
There are other trusted sources besides health-care professionals. If you are wading through the information on the Internet, stick to trusted sources like known universities – Yale, Harvard, the Mayo Clinic, or Johns Hopkins. There are also many research institutions like the National Institutes of Health, the National Cancer Institute, and the Muscular Dystrophy Association. There are professional organizations for every specialty, like the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Neurology. There are also patient or disease advocacy groups like the Multiple Sclerosis Society.
But there are also a lot of posers. Anyone can create a snazzy website and make it seem like they’re an impressive organization.

Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

Therefore, here are some red flags to look out for:Anticonvulsants
Beware of so-called institutes or organizations that seem to be doing nothing more than promoting a single individual. Beware of sites that seem to be trying to sell you something; they are probably distorting information to make that sale. Also, beware of outliers. If you’re visiting various sites that all seem to have one opinion, but Bob’s Institute of Syndrome X has a completely different opinion, it’s probably Bob’s Institute that you should be wary of. There are also well-meaning but misguided patient and disease-oriented groups. There are groups that honestly want to do what’s best for patients, sufferers, and society, but they don’t have a culture of science.
Finally, there is no substitute for just thinking critically. At the end of the day, you have to think for yourself. Here are some more tips for reading information on the Internet:

(1) If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If someone’s promising you the cure for cancer, you should be a little wary of that.

(2) Don’t trust testimonials. They are just anecdotes, and as we say, the plural of anecdote is anecdotes, not data. Sites use testimonials to support their claims because they don’t have the scientific evidence to back them up.

(3) Look for contrary information and opinions. If someone is trying to sell you a product, treatment, or therapy, specifically go out of your way to see what the critics of this are saying.

(4) Finally, is there published, peer-reviewed evidence? That’s the ultimate currency of medical information. Having a peer-reviewed article is not a guarantee that the results will hold up over time or that they’re accurate, but it’s at least a good starting point. To search for this research yourself, go to the website

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Obesity = High Cholesterol; Aging = Brittle Bones; Smoking = Cancer…..Misconstrued Generalizations! (Part 2 of 2)

Individuals Having Darker Complexion Need not Use Sunblock

Chances are you’ll have read or hearddark skinned person that individuals with dark-colored complexion tend to be naturally shielded from the sun’s ultraviolet radiation, therefore these individuals need not put on sunblock. Despite the fact that dark-colored skin possesses additional melanin – the pigment responsible for establishing skin coloration – it’s not necessarily correct that dark-colored skin tone can’t be scorched or harmed. Melanocytes are pigment-producing skin cells that produce additional melanin (and therefore produce a tan) when an individual subjects his/her skin to the sun’s rays. Melanin is your skin’s natural immune system towards sunburn, so there is some truth that dark skin offers some defense against sun exposure. Therefore no matter your skin type, ensure that you safeguard your skin in the sun by liberally utilizing a broad-spectrum sunscreen of sun protection factor (SPF) 15 or more as well as sporting sun-protective apparel. If you believe that SPF 1000 is superior to SPF 30, the following is the reality regarding the figures: An SPF above 30 doesn’t improve the level of blockage; it increases the amount of time you can remain in the sun without burning. Once you get past SPF 30, the higher SPF lotions will cost more, therefore save your money and quit at SPF 30.
Herbal remedies Tend to be Natural, To Ensure That They Can’t Harm An individual

Even though something is organic, does not imply that it is confirmed to end up being harmless. Several herbal products could very well be unsafe as well lethal if consumed. Plus plant-based treatments as well as health supplements that are classified as an organic might not be specifically natural to the human body. Several herbal products interfere with over-the-counter (OTC) as well as prescription drugs, rendering it challenging for your health care provider to control treatments. Examine product labels as well as engage with your physician prior to taking these types of natural treatments, particularly if you are on other medications.

The More Mature An Individual Gets, The Need for Sleep Gets Reduced

Due to the fact that as you get older, your system is inclined to decrease the capability to sleep as deeply during the night. Your sleep phases typically transform, resulting in a progressive deterioration of the sleeping/ waking experience. Consequently, chances are you may sleep at night a great deal lightly along with reduced time periods as you grow older, however you typically require approximately the same measure of sleep as you needed in the formative years of adulthood. This verifiable truth clarifies the reason why the elderly require naps – in an effort to make amends for their sleep, which regrettably is not feasible. About 50 % of most individuals more than
65 possess regular sleeping difficulties such as insomnia. This transformation is principally because of growing older, however additional circumstances that may be a factor tend to be medical conditions as well as the medications to help remedy those complications.

As A Person Ages, He/She Is Unable to Develop Lean Muscle Mass

Even though muscle-building most likely Elderly_exerciseis not at the top of virtually all elderly folks’ “to do” list, weight training is more crucial than previously as an individual grows older plus it’s achievable. Muscular tissues degenerate as we grow older – with every 10 years when you reach 25, 3 to 5 percent of muscle tissue is lost. Nevertheless, research likewise have proven that there can be substantial enhancements in lean muscle strength in formerly inactive seniors that follow a consistent workout regime. The study now advocates strength training for individuals over 50 – in fact persons clearly into their 90s can benefit.

Having a Late Night Meal Is Less Healthy Than Having It Early

If you consume a serving of Bowl of nutschocolate ice cream in the middle of the night, it contains the identical amount of calories irrespective of when they’re eaten. However it is in no way the full tummy at bedtime that adds the additional weight; it’s the excess calories – regardless of when you ingest them.
You’ll probably encounter distress at night and subsequently the following morning when you eat late at night, the reason being:

>Your meal may only digest to a certain extent: the partially processed meal remaining in the belly results in acid reflux, indigestion, and, consequently, not being able to fall sleep. Lying in a susceptible posture will never enable gravity to drag meals along the intestinal track. Late-night food intake may also trigger morning flatulence as well as stomach cramps.

>Your system is utilizing its energy on digestive break down when it needs to be in an energy-save state: A specific principal purpose of sleep is to enable you to recover from the day. You need your body system to be as well-rested as possible to help you to awaken vitalized.
Typically, avoid eating two to three hours before going to sleep to enable your system the required time for digestive break down. If you’re not famished, your best option is to drink some water and call it a night, but try not to go to sleep starving, because you can end up with an unsettled night of sleep, too. In the event that you’re famished and you do consume food, attempt to have something small and wholesome such as snack a with protein so that you can sense being more full such as an ounce of different nut products, a salad, or a small bowl of yogurt. By doing this you don’t overindulged or substantially increase your calorific quantity and at the same time jeopardizing a long night of sleep with acid reflux. The simplest way to prevent getting hungry at night is to consume sufficient water and eat at the bare minimum five modest meals throughout the day as opposed to the typical 2 to 3 servings. This will assist in maximizing your metabolic rate as well as your blood glucose.

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Obesity = High Cholesterol; Aging = Brittle Bones; Smoking = Cancer…..Misconstrued Generalizations! (Part 1 of 2)

There are usually old wives’ accounts associated with medical concerns, handed down as family quotes or fundamental truisms. After which emerged the world wide web, featuring its surge of internet data, false information, misconceptions, and just basic rubbish. Sifting out reality from misinformation isn’t simple when it involves medical concerns.

Elevated Cholesterol Is Connected to Body-weight

If you’re slim, it may not in factOverweight Biker trigger you to ascertain your cholesterol levels. The fallacy that individuals with high cholesterol tend to be overweight is usually a risky proposition. It’s possible to have excessive cholesterol levels and happen to be as skinny as a whispering willow. Just how could that possibly be?
Any individual physical structure form may well possess elevated cholesterol levels. Cholesterol originates from two channels: your food intake along with what your own system naturally produces determined by genetics. You have influence over the quantity of cholesterol you consume, however levels of cholesterol tend to be impacted significantly more due to your inherited genes. You need to begin having your cholesterol values analyzed at the age of twenty or sooner should you have a genealogy of cardiovascular disease. Assume responsibility for your well-being by way of understanding how to decipher the results, which include HDL (beneficial) cholesterol, LDL (undesirable) cholesterol, and triglyceride amounts. Consult your medical professional regarding adjusting your way of life or your prospective risk factors. If you do have high cholesterol, adhere to all your physician’s recommendations, while having your cholesterol tested again as your doctor advises.


Hypertension Is Due to Excessive Stress

Every individual senses tension at one time or another, however constant worry is not the contributing factor associated with constant hypertension. In reality, medical professionals are not entirely certain what triggers elevated blood pressure levels. Numerous risk factors have been specified and stress is frequently featured in the listing, however presently there has not been a primary link between the two.
With that in mind, stress-inducers could possibly raise the heart rate and hypertension levels, nevertheless they consequently return to normal. There are several individuals who have been placed under emotional tension and do not display elevations in their blood pressure. Typically, the distressed men and women who do observe continuing elevations have also included a number of other hypertension raising components into their way of life, for instance tobacco use, being inactive, putting on weight, as well as inadequate eating habits.


Women Shouldn’t Be Concerned About Cardiovascular Illnesses

In the event you convey to a womanCoronary Heart Disease that she’s far more prone to die of a stroke or heart attack as compared to cancer of the breast, she may not believe you. The reason being that based on research conducted recently, women consider cardiovascular affliction as a man’s condition and cancer is the ailment that a majority of women die from. Not accurate. Cardiovascular disease stands out as the foremost basis associated with death in females as well as is accountable for practically two times as many deaths in women as compared to all cancers put together, together with breast cancer. A number of the explanations why this misconception isn’t correct tend to be that women are puffing more, gainfully employed more, and in most cases aren’t as vigorously examined for cardiovascular illnesses.
Along with the introduction of a few global initiatives focusing on heart disease in females, there has been a significant spike in the cases of women that currently are aware that cardiovascular illness is a fatal condition for them and so they require to be pro-active as part of their healthcare.


Brittle bones Is a Component of Aging

Brittle bones, fractured hips, as well as hunchbacks aren’t an element of typical aging. Not every person develops osteoporosis, and if you’re susceptible, there exists steps you can consider to protect against it. The sooner in life you set about averting, the more effective it becomes, given that you reach your maximum bone density during your 30s.
Focusing on bone-development pursuits like strength and resistance training in addition to weight-bearing exercise allows you to utilize the power associated with gravity upon your muscular tissues that will help drive the calcium into your bones. This tends to decrease the pace of bone loss.


Only Smokers Get Lung Cancer

The frequency of individuals currently being clinically determined to have carcinoma of the lungs who’ve never ever been cigarette users is growing, especially among women. Based on statistical data, approximately 10 percent of males as well as 20 percent of females diagnosed with lung cancer never smoked cigarettes. Two probable factors are secondhand smoke along with genetic makeup. A research paper established that a nonsmoker who’s a wife or husband to a smoker will have a 30 percent higher risk of contracting
lung cancer than the husband or wife of a nonsmoker. Although it’s possible that the justification women have an increased probability as compared to men is because it’s more prevalent for guys to light up than gals, women would remain confronted with the secondhand smoke of their partners. Inherited genes may be an additional aspect for contracting lung cancer in individuals who by no means smoked.

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Direction Is So Much More Important Than Speed – Many Are Going Nowhere Fast (Part 2 of 2)

Know Your Limits
We are not all alike, nor do stressed out employeewe all have the same tolerance level. Some people, by virtue of their temperaments or even natural stamina, can do more than others. Know yourself, and don’t be ashamed to admit you have limits. Don’t try to keep up with some other busy person you know – just be yourself.
High achievers often feel it is a personal failure to say, “I can’t do any more than I am doing.” That is, of course, wrong thinking. Many “driven” people are just insecure people who are getting their worth and value from their accomplishments in life.
There is a story about a woman who worked in a shipyard, and her job was cleaning the ships. She believed that her job had value because she was doing it, not that her value was based on the job she did. This gave her wonderful freedom to enjoy herself, her job, and all of life. Many people would feel belittled by her job, but not her – she knew she had value. Our attitudes about ourselves really do affect all of our lives.
Quite often, people strive to have prestigious jobs so they feel important; this causes a lot of heartache in life. We could all learn a lesson from this woman’s story. You make what you do important; you are not important because you do it.
Some people don’t have peace with themselves because they actually don’t approve of themselves, and they over-commit while trying to find worth. They stay busy trying to accomplish something that will make them feel important and valuable. When we come to terms of peace with ourselves, we don’t have to live to impress people; we are free to follow our innermost values and beliefs.
Over-commitment is the Family Activitynumber-one marriage killer. The world applauds our being over-committed. A busy person with too much to do is usually considered a success by the world’s standards. How can we be successful if we fail at relationships (which are usually what suffer the most in the life of a busy person)? Most extremely busy people don’t even take the time to really know themselves, let alone anyone else.
What is the point in parenting children if they are all going to be strangers to you? Why be married if you never have anything left of yourself to share with your marriage partner? Don’t give your family and friends the scraps you have left over while you give the world your best. The world will let you down in the end. It will take everything you have and disappear when you are in need.
How many people have given all of themselves to something that never gave anything back? A great example of this is what motivational teachers refer to as “climbing the ladder to success only to find that it was leaning against the wrong wall.” It’s true, there never has been heard of any person who has said on his or her deathbed, “Gee, I really wish I had spent more time at the office.”
We can easily lose our focus and get sidetracked. We are busy all the time, we work hard, but we don’t get the things accomplished that minister fulfillment to us as individuals. Great relationships are one of the most precious treasures in life, but we must feed them regularly by putting time into them. If you find you have no time to develop and maintain strong, intimate relationships with yourself, and with your family and friends, then you are absolutely too busy.
We all need to take a serious inventory of what we are doing with our time, get out the pruning shears, cut things out of our lives until we no longer have to rush. Then we will be able to live with peace and joy.
Realizing that we have limits and cannot do everything, and then making choices to do what is most important, will definitely increase our level of peace. Peace equals power; without it, we live weak, frustrated lives. If we have peace, we can keep doing what we are doing, but if we do not have peace, we know we need to make a change. If you hear yourself complaining all the time, it is an indication that you need to make some adjustments.

Take Charge of Your Schedule
If we are honest, we really are the only ones who can do anything about the busyness of our lives. We complain frequently about being overworked and too involved, but we never do anything about it. We expect everyone to feel sorry for us because we are under pressure that we place on ourselves. We say we would love to have just one free evening at home with nothing to do. Yet when, by some miracle of God, we find ourselves alone for the evening, we are so tense from all our other hurrying that we cannot sit still and enjoy it.
Make your own schedule. Don’t allow circumstances and demands from other people to make it for you. Simplify life. Do what you really need to do, but don’t be afraid to say no to things that take your time yet produce few positive results.

Carefully Choose What You Need To Be Involved In
We cannot be involved in Domestic Helpeverything and remain calm, cool, and steady. Don’t engage in everything that is going on around you. Choose carefully what activities you need to participate in. This like referring to it as “choosing your battles carefully.”
If we don’t learn to delegate work and authority, we will always feel overwhelmed. Please note the words, work and authority. Don’t ever give someone responsibility without the authority that goes with it. There are times in our lives when someone else will recognize what we can’t see. We should be open to hearing that it is time to delegate some of our workload to another qualified individual.
If you have the idea that you are the only one who can do what needs to be done, you need to seriously consider the following: Don’t let pride destroy you – ask for help!
A mother can delegate some of the household chores to her children. True, they may not do the job as perfectly as she would, but they will relieve some pressure and also learn, as time goes by, to do chores with more excellence. No matter what station we are in, we can always delegate some of our responsibilities to others at the right time, therefore making it possible to do what we are assigned to do in life with peace and enjoyment. When you start to feel frustrated and begin losing your peace, ask yourself what you are doing that you could delegate to someone else.
We all feel occasionally that we are out of time – that there is never enough. “Buy” some time by either hiring someone to help or assigning chores to available people.
Whoever you assign to jobs probably won’t do the job exactly the way you would. Look for a good outcome, and don’t be so concerned about the methods they use. We may all get to the same place by taking a different route, but the important thing is that we arrive. One person may prefer dusting the house before vacuuming the floors, while another may want to vacuum first and dust later. I can’t see that it makes any difference as long as both jobs get done. We should be humble enough to admit that our way of doing things is not the only way.
When we have to consistently hurry, we have not managed our lives well. We have shoved too many things into too little space, or we are trying to do more than our share and not allowing others to help us.
Once you learn to slow down, you will have time to evaluate your real priorities in life.

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Direction Is So Much More Important Than Speed – Many Are Going Nowhere Fast (Part 1 of 2)

Slow Down
Almost all of the modern world is inHurry a rush, constantly hurrying, however hardly any individuals have any idea exactly where they are going in their lives. To be at peace  with ourselves and take pleasure in life, we have to quit hurrying continuously.
Individuals dash to arrive at the next circumstance that has virtually no genuine meaning for them, or that they truly don’t even wish to participate in. Urgency is the  tempo of the twenty-first century; hurrying has turned into an ailment of really dangerous levels. Many of us rush a great deal, we ultimately arrive at the place where we simply can’t relax.
Life is too precious to rush through it. I find at times that a day has gone by in a blur; at the conclusion of it I know I was very busy all day yet cannot really remember enjoying much, if any, of it.
It is permissible to enjoy our morning coffee or tea without feeling we must hurry to get to the next thing. We can get dressed calmly without rushing. We can leave the house in a timely fashion, without frantically running out the door already behind schedule. Rushing is a bad habit, but we can break bad habits and form good ones to replace them.
The way we get a day started is important. Often how we start is how the entire day goes. If you allow the “hurry-up” spirit to grab you early in the day, everything within you gets into high gear, and you will never seem to slow down or really relax the rest of the day. Hurry creates pressure that in turn creates stress.
Stress is the root cause of many illnesses and is therefore something each one of us desperately needs to resolve. Pace is very important in life. Our pace not only affects us but others around us. People who are always in a rush are usually short-tempered and impatient. They certainly don’t minister peace.
In fine-dining restaurants, the hostess who seats people walks very slowly while leading customers to their tables. The waiters or waitresses don’t rush the table for orders; they give you plenty of time to think. I am sure this is because they want the customers to enjoy their experience, and they know that will not be possible if they are rushed.
Our pace of living affects the quality of our lives. When we eat too fast, we don’t properly digest our food; when we rush through life, we don’t properly digest it either. Life has been bestowed unto us as a gift, and what a pitiful shame to do nothing but rush through each day and never, as they say, “stop to smell the roses.” Each thing we do in life has a sweet fragrance, and we should learn to take it into ourselves and enjoy the aroma.

Rushing Begins in the Mind
Rushing begins in the mind, just asexecutive-in-a-hurry-late-for-his-appointment all actions do. “I have to hurry” is a thought pattern we should avoid. When other people say to us, “Hurry up!” we can learn to resist following their suggestion or demand. It unsettles us and makes us feel rushed when thoughts constantly fly through our minds, one following upon another (especially thoughts that go in many different directions).
Those of us who have a bad habit of rushing need to decide that we don’t have to do this. We can do only one thing at a time! When we hurry, we make more mistakes and often forget things that end up costing us more time than we would have used had we maintained a godly pace.
Did you know that you can think things on purpose? You can choose what you think about, and by doing so you help assure what your actions will be. Yes, you can purposefully think thoughts such as I don’t have to hurry. I have time to do whatever I need to do. Speaking such affirmations out loud is also helpful.
Positive statements help give direction for future actions. Get up in the morning, and as soon as you feel rushed, say, “I am glad I don’t have to hurry. I have all the time I need. I will do things today at a pace that enables me to enjoy each task.”
If we feel hurried, we usually say, “I am so sick and tired of hurrying all the time! That is all I ever do: hurry, hurry, hurry.” Statements like those may be facts describing the way things are, but circumstances don’t have to stay that way. I repeat, say what you want, not what you have. Peace of mind must precede peace in our lives.
Contemplating excessively about every little thing we need to carry out sets the wheels in motion for hurrying. We frequently come to feel bogged down whenever we visualize all the time to come will demand of us. This sort of thought process is known as anxiety. Once we invest the present moment trying to sort out the next day, when we attempt to live tomorrow now, even though simply in our heads, we feel burdened and start to forfeit tranquility.
We will never enjoy the peaceful and fruitful lives unless we learn to think right. Food for thought: Where the mind goes, the man follows.

Learn to Live with Margin or Slack
Living without margin is one of the main reasons we feel we need to hurry. To live with margin means to leave room on either side of planned events or appointments to take care of unexpected things that come up. We seem to plan our days in an unrealistic way, as if everything will go exactly according to our plans and desires, which it never does. One unplanned phone call or traffic jam can change our entire timetable. One set of misplaced car keys can upset a whole day’s scheduling.
Having breathing room between planned events of the day is healthy, and it is actually mandatory if one is intending to enjoy his or her life.
One of the worst things a person can become is a busy man or woman. I have noticed upon meeting people and asking how they are that most respond, “Busy,” and many say, “Tired.” Surely life is meant to be more. If our testimony of life is “I’m busy and tired,” that is very sad indeed.
Margin is another word for wisdom. It makes absolutely no sense to live without it, and nothing truly succeeds without it. We know from experience that we always encounter things we did not plan for, so why not plan for the unplanned, which is what margin is?

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Be Prudent With Soups & I Don’t Mean Food! (Part 2 of 2)

Relying on Free Advice
As the old adage goes, free advice is worthmechanic what you pay for it. People educate themselves and train to carry out expert modifications, and when they have become competent and recognized in this arena, tend to charge for their services either as tuners, crew chiefs, or build consultants. If someone offers you their advice on how to create the perfect fuel map, properly set up your suspension, they may know what they are talking about, or they may be certifiably insane – but one thing remains clear: They will not take liability for any harm you cause to your car or yourself.
This point may seem fairly obvious, but too many people rely on free advice because it is free and available everywhere. Your mailman, your mom’s friend, and your local priest probably all have opinions on what would look/work great on your car. Are you going to listen to them? The funny thing is, if you are getting your input online, you probably are listening to them because they are the people putting in their two cents on the Internet forums.
As a rule, people who are paid to know what they are talking about, with rare exceptions, do not give free advice on message boards. Or if they do, they have a commercial interest or other agenda prompting the “help” that they are offering. Just like a doctor, lawyer, or other professional, experts in the automotive arena will tell you that there is no free lunch. If you value the advice of the town people of Anytown, U.S.A., you will find it for free in great abundance. If you are after the leading industry experts’ opinions on how to carry out a modification plan for your car, expect to pay for it.

Knowing When to Apply the Brakes
Perhaps the most important mistake novice enthusiasts make in modifying their cars is not recognizing when to step back and leave it alone. Modifications are a tricky business. They can bring out the very best in your car, and set it apart from the crowd in a good way, or they can bring out the very worst and make you the subject of ridicule. Even the best and most experienced car modders strike out once in a while, so if your last few mods have been home runs knocked straight out of the park, don’t feel pressure to swing and miss.
Experience teaches that, with rare exceptions, the most impressive cars from both a performance and cosmetic standpoint came together over a long stretch of time. The 1992OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA E30 BMW M3 that looks so terrific today may have been in the works for over 12 years. Odds are that it did not come together in a flurry of activity in a couple of months. Cars that are built quickly fail to provide a sense of perspective on the overall project. They often have stronger elements thrown together with weaker elements in an overall project that carries a tinge of mediocrity.
Time is your friend. So is experience. Know that it’s okay to step back and take a breather. You’ll both enjoy your mods more, having seen what each brings to the table before adding the next, and you’ll better be able to get a clear picture of where you are ultimately headed. Best of all, the prospect of a suddenly bankrupted project can be kept at bay by stretching out the process over a longer period of time. When someone buys a new car, there is no taking a break from the sting of monthly car payments. Of course, the beauty of car mods is that you can and should take a break. Let a month go by without spending anything. Let a few months slide. Wait and see if you feel as strongly about your next mod after sleeping on it for a while as you did when you were first ready to pick up the phone and charge it to plastic. Fighting the urge to mod is one of the most difficult battles of all, but if you learn to savor the wait and enjoy what you have now without getting ahead of yourself, you’ll come to enjoy years of modding more than by getting ahead of yourself and trying to build Rome in a day.

Selling Parts
Another common mistake made by novice modders is knowing which parts to sell and when. In general, if you might need a part to pass emissions testing, make your car street legal, or maintain your warranty, you have no business selling it. These parts should remain carefully protected and preserved in your garage. Other parts can be let go, albeit with some care. Perhaps you just ordered a new carbon fiber hood and would like to make room in your garage and pay off the credit card by selling your factory hood. This may not be a bad idea. But what if the fitment on the new hood is horrible? And even if you love the new hood for the first week, what if fashion changes and that hood now makes your car look completely out of date?
The best recent example of this, and overallcar parts the best arena to see what happens to people when they are too hasty to follow fashion and sell old parts, is in the wonderful and wondrous world of wheels. There must have been a period in the early 1990s when three-spoke rims were the thing to have. Even today, you can see used cars up for sale still wearing these goofy-looking and dated wheels, with all kinds of snide remarks being made on message boards all over the Internet every time a picture is posted of such a car for sale. If the owner had the original factory rims, the car would sell for far more, and make for a respectable purchase. However, wearing the equivalent of the leisure suit (which also must have seemed like a good idea in the 1970s), the car becomes a parody of itself. The same can be said of chrome fender trim, rear window louvers, and Baby on Board stickers.
Bottom line: You have little control over whether your mods are going to be regarded as timeless or will quickly fade into objects of ridicule. Beyond the practical concerns of legality/warranty/reliability, bear in mind that what seems like a good idea today may quickly sour into a regret tomorrow. Even worse, the factory wheels/seats/body panels that you sell today may be worth a small fortune as time passes, while the “upgrades” become worthless.

Buying out of Desperation
If you undertake a project before you know that you have all the bits and pieces needed to carry it out successfully, you have effectively painted yourself into a corner. This means that, rather than having the luxury of shopping around for the best deal on everything from small nuts and bolts to larger items that might have been overlooked, you are forced to spend now, spend freely, and ship expedited. Negotiating power is not on your side. Lest you think this only applies to parts, buying out of desperation applies equally well to paying top dollar for shops to accommodate you after hours, bump other customers to make room for your car, and/or tune your car in the dead of night. These perks don’t come cheaply, and begging and groveling will only get you so far. Grandstanding about how important your project is to the magazines/sponsors/current presidential cabinet will do even less for you. When time has run out and the project must be completed quickly, money talks, and sellers can and will demand top dollar for their goods and/or services.
To avoid paying double or triple what you would otherwise need to spend, know when to start a project (that is, when you have everything), and know to budget plenty of extra time beyond what you think it could possibly take to get the job done. These few precautions could save you a small fortune and will no doubt bring your blood pressure way down from where it might otherwise be.

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Be Prudent With Soups & I Don’t Mean Food! (Part 1 of 2)

Allocating Time
You might think it’s obvious that thingsmanaging time often take much longer to finish than you expect them to at first blush. This applies to small and big projects alike. For those of you used to working with automotive shop manuals, you already know that basic maintenance times not only assume some familiarity with the systems involved, and the availability of special service tools where applicable, but also assume that the car being worked on is in good serviceable order. A bolt can take ten seconds to remove . . . or six hours if the bolt is rusted, seized, breaks off, and/or requires the threads to be retapped. Now, add to this the fact that many, if not most, aftermarket performance and cosmetic parts come with woefully inadequate instructions, often poorly translated or missing altogether, and the parts themselves have less R&D time invested in assuring their standardization (meaning they might not fit properly), and it becomes clear that installing an aftermarket “upgrade” can double or triple the amount of time that installing a factory part might take.
Now, this assumes that the parts and tools are in hand and ready to go. However, what happens when you have put in for time off of work to complete a project and, lo and behold, the parts don’t arrive on schedule? Seasoned car modders know that you never, ever begin prep work unless you have the parts needed in hand and ready to go. It doesn’t matter if you have a tracking number in hand and the friendly neighborhood FedEx or UPS delivery driver assures you that the parts are on his truck and ready to be delivered – without the parts in hand, nothing should come off the car. The reason for this is simple enough: Oftentimes, the wrong parts are shipped, the parts arrive damaged or do not fit, or some other glitch stalls the project. It’s far more prudent to leave everything as it is rather than to risk putting the car back together while all of the hiccups are sorted out.
Time, as the old adage goes, is money. Remember not to waste it. If a part is going to need to be cryogenically frozen, shot peened, chrome plated, or powder coated prior to installation, make sure that the appointment to have this work done is ready to go and confirmed. If you need to set aside time to test fit the parts before sending them back out for these processes, be sure to do so (incidentally, this is always a good idea – there is nothing quite as disappointing as a beautifully chromed inter-cooler pipe that doesn’t fit and can’t be returned because it has been modified). If specialty fluids are needed, including high-dollar synthetic lubricants or gear oils, make sure that you have sourced these fluids before starting a job or risk days or weeks of delays. If there is even the remote chance that you might need access to a welder, and you happen to be starting a job on a weekend, make sure that you know someone who can help on his or her day off. The same goes if you get stalled on a project and need a lift or hydraulic press. Make sure that you know ahead of time who will be around to help bail you out when your project runs overtime, it’s 3 a.m. on a Saturday morning, and you have half a clutch job completed.

Managing Finances
So . . . you’re thinking of picking up a turbomanaging money kit for your Honda Civic. Less than $900 buys you a “kit” at eBay or from your local performance shop. Sounds tempting, doesn’t it? Would you still be so quick to click the Buy It Now! button if you knew that the fuel injectors, pump, piggyback controller, inter-cooler, hoses, clamps, and assorted supporting modifications totaled $1,500 or more? What about the fact that your local performance shop is going to estimate eight hours to install the kit for you at $95 per hour, and that eventually you’ll get a call letting you know that the actual install time with custom fabrication was closer to 12 hours. The local powder coaters and polishers will charge another $200 to provide their services, and the local Dyno tuner will take another $700 or more to properly tune the kit. The clutch will give up the ghost within 500 miles after installation of the turbo kit ($900 parts plus $500 installation), and the local police will have written you up for an illegally modified car and/or some other moving violation while you are enjoying your new turbo, putting another $300 or more into the hands of your local municipality.
The $900 turbo kit doesn’t seem like such a great deal on hindsight, does it? The performance aftermarket is brimming with stories of projects quickly ballooning out of proportion. If your gut tells you that you might be stretched short on money or for time, then flag the project and revisit it later. It takes enormous willpower to resist the siren song of a promising modification, but those of us who have been down this scenic and often ugly road one too many times can tell you from experience that sometimes (often) the smartest move is doing nothing. If you do decide to take the plunge, have cash reserves ready to go to help grease the hands
of all the people that will be helping you along the way. If your car must be running for you to get to work on Monday, and someone needs to open their shop to you late on Sunday night to help you complete your project, chances are, a bribe of a six pack of beer with a bow on it is not going to cut it.

Legal Matters
Some modifications are illegal. Some modifications are, for all intents and purposes, irreversible. Some modifications are both illegal and irreversible. When performing modifications to your car, keep in mind that not only do illegal modifications end up costing you money and time when being cited for vehicle code infractions, but they also seriously compromise your use and enjoyment of the car. Let’s face it: Any modification that knocks a few tenths off your quarter-mile time is bound to be fun. However, how much fun is it in the real world when those few tenths cause your heart to skip a beat every time you spot a patrol car? It’s no fun feeling like a criminal because your exhaust is too loud or your car is too low.

Warranty Concerns
Modifications that are easily reversible and undetectable are also of paramount importance when it comes to maintaining your new car’s warranty. Let’s face it: Cars break. They are mechanical objects consisting of highly complex systems, some of which fail prematurely. If a new car dealer can find a way to void your warranty you better believe that it will.
If a number of cars are suffering from, for example, a main bearing failure which would otherwise be covered under the manufacturer’s powertrain warranty, and your car happens to have a modified air intake — something that has nothing to do with the longevity of the main bearing — you better believe that your local dealership service center is not only going to deny the warranty coverage that would otherwise have applied to fixing your car, but is going to log a note in your file accessible by all dealers in your region (some can even do this on a national level) informing them that your powertrain warranty is now null and void, regardless of what ailments your car may have. This activity can and should be opposed to when it happens. However, if you don’t have the fighting spirit, and your modifications are not easily reversible, prepare for the worst. Some cars rarely require warranty work and are a safer bet to modify than others. However, if your make and model is known to have a glitch or two that might need to be addressed sometime during its warranty period, you might be better off either staying with less invasive modifications or forgoing modifications altogether until the warranty period has expired.

Resale Value
Modified cars are generally worth less oncar resale the secondary market than unmodified cars. Mind you, the previous sentence said “worth less” not “worthless,” so they do have value – both to the owner and to those car aficionados who can appreciate a properly modified car. However, to the general public, a performance modification to a car – no matter how benign or well executed – triggers a red flag that the car has been raced or otherwise abused. Even those buyers who don’t believe this to be true will nonetheless make the argument in order to hammer down the asking price. New car dealers are loath to accept modified cars as trade-ins because it both restricts their appeal and because they need to vouch for the safety, legality, and emissions compliance of the vehicles they sell. Don’t expect top dollar for your modified car as a trade-in. In the world of private-party sales, you will find yourself banking on the fact that someone else agrees with your cosmetic and/or performance ideals when looking for a car to buy. Even those that do like what you have done will likely have wanted the satisfaction of saving a bit of cash and having carried out the mods themselves.
Bottom line: Modify your car to your heart’s content, but don’t be surprised when the $15,000 you spent modifying your car nets you a $6,000 loss off the value of your car when it comes time for resale, compared to an equivalent unmodified car.

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Time – The Non-Renewable Commodity (Part 2 of 2)

Gluing Yourself to the TV

According to statistical research data, the typicalTV_set_medium individual in the US is glued to the TV for more than 28 hours a week. Ponder over it: In the event you could well eradicate that amount of viewing time, it’d be similar to getting an eight-day week. Imagine everything you could do with 28 additional hours: go through a great e-book, hang out with your loved ones, attend a course, commence on a gym routine – as well as get a good night’s sleep!
In the event that you’re a dedicated TV viewer, kicking the habit all at once most likely isn’t practical. The withdrawal pains would be too extreme. And the fact is, television isn’t all undesirable. Much like coffee, a small bit is beneficial.
Here are a few approaches to get yourself off evenings and weekends glued to the couch:                                                                                                                                 >Turn the TV off if you’re not viewing it. Some individuals enjoy having the TV switched on for company, but it’s too alluring to stroll over and sit your self down in the event that Oprah is having a controversial guest or the tribe is about to throw another individual off the tropical isle.                                                                                                                               >Pre-plan your TV timetable. Determine what’s essential for you to view. On Monday evening, if it’s the 9 p.m. criminal investigation serial, so be it. However don’t switch on the television until it commences, and switch it off promptly upon watching the concluding credits.                                                                                                                        >Schedule no-watch time-periods during your week. Perhaps reserve a particular weeknight or weekend day when all household television sets stay switched off.                         >Reduce the number of television sets in your residence. You want to keep TV away from the kitchen and bedroom, especially. In the same way diet specialists recommend dieters to eat only in specific locations in their homes, restricting the number of TVs assists in maintaining the habit in check.                                                                                                        >Pre-record what you would like to view and enjoy it on your own time frame. The extra benefit? You’re able to skip over all the advertisements, which decreases your viewing time by about one-third!

Browsing the Internet

Absolutely nothing is amiss with browsing the Internet – as long as it isn’t ten hours per session. Studies reveal the typical per-day internet time is one or two hours, but a quantifiable proportion devote seven or more hours each day riveted to their displays! Research additionally indicates that online time is increasing – and bypassing other pursuits, such as viewing TV as well as reading.
The Online World is amazingly beneficial internetas a time-saving system. Just imagine how much quicker getting information as well as searching for details are than previously. However the Internet can be a storage facility of worthless information and facts also. You can spend hours sorting through mounds of information looking for what you truly need to know, and before you realize it, over fifty percent of the day has transpired. Your primary objectives endure a wipe-out as you get yanked off-course by information undertow.
While using the Web for researching or information-gathering, its best to remain centered on your objective: Precisely, what are you searching for? The annual report from a business you’re seeking as a client? The ideal bed-and-breakfasts available in the English countryside in July? Don’t end up distracted by corresponding data that directs you off-course. Place particular terms within quotation marks to obtain precise matches or utilize the advanced search functions to circumvent specific phrases or restrict your search to .org, .com, .gov, or .edu websites as needed. Bookmark sites you discover particularly helpful, or copy and paste important information into a unique document, together with the URL where you discovered it, for later reference.
A significant utilization of the Web is for leisurely activities: music, purchasing, video games, blog sites, virtual worlds, pornography. It is best to discontinue this particular pursuit entirely. Many of these web-based actions can result in severe complications, dependencies, monetary risk, and even personal issues of safety. In other more harmless circumstances, it’s still recommended that you maintain the internet-based pursuit to a minimum and get your kicks in real life instead.

Getting Caught on the Junk Mail Bandwagon

As though it weren’t enough to end up being bombarded with credit card promotions, brochures, as well as direct marketing materials in your mailboxes, now your e-mail in-boxes are overwhelmed with unwanted tidings, popularly known as spam or junk e-mail. At least e- mail promotions don’t fritter away the thousands and thousands of tons of paper that gets thrown in the recycling bin. But almost everyone squanders a lot of time sorting through both paper and electronic mail to ensure they don’t overlook crucial messages.
Offering up or trading e-mail lists is a typical exercise among catalog firms. If you happen to check in the heap of offerings you will get, you’ll discover a few different firms that misspell your name in precisely the same way. Coincidence? Not quite.                                         Getting off all these databases is more of a predicament than it needs to be. Contacting the organization and requesting to be removed from its list doesn’t usually succeed. And after you do get off a list, the same firm may buy a fresh list with your name on it, and the mailings begin once again. Although many businesses invest in removing your name from upcoming purchased lists, this just doesn’t always take place.
To reduce your catalog burden, register online with your national catalog administration organization; Google it to assist in the process. You can handle your email by choosing which brochures you’d prefer to carry on to receive and which you don’t.
Online, install a good junk e-mail manager application. Just about all filter out the unsolicited mail and provide you the opportunity to look at it later if you like.

Hanging Out with Pessimistic Individualsdepressed man

A good way to lower your vitality, decrease your enthusiasm, darken your take on life, impede your effectiveness, and deplete your glass from half-full to almost-empty is to commit your time and effort in pessimistic individuals. The more you minimize the impact they have on your life, the more content and more successful you can be.
Easier in theory. Chances are you currently have no less than one negative-minded buddy in your close circle. And you’re in all likelihood associated with someone who loves to emphasize to you that you’re not living up to your potential or that everyone is out to trip you up. Your pessimistic colleagues don’t essentially target their malcontent mojo toward you. They may, actually, view you as a glowing success while they forge themselves as a lousy recipient of the world’s injustices. But their negativity will definitely rub off on you.
It is not in any way recommended that you give up on friends and relatives who are suffering through misfortune, whether due to health issues, monetary difficulties, or personal concerns. The point here is steering clear of those people who are susceptible to see the gloomy side of life, regardless of how much good fortune they have.
Do your best to scale back the time you spend in the company of doom-sayers. Not only do you gain back valuable time to focus towards optimistic undertakings, but their absence also destroys the dark spell over your positive take on life.

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